Self Confidence vs Narcissism

Narcissism (Atma Mugdhata) vs Self Confidence (Atma Biswas)

Narcissism

What is Narcissism?

• Self centricity. The world will not run without me.
  • mein itni sundar hun ki mein kya karoon
  • mein jahaan khadaa hotaa hun line wahaan se shuru hotaa hai
  • kabhi lagtaa hai ki apun hich bhagwaan hai
• Few people also call it a God complex.
• Stages of love by this kind of person
  1. Love bombardment
     • Too much loving to use it as a tool to love him/herself
  2. Gas Lighting
     • To show others so low that the other person will feel s/he is nothing and guilty.
     • To take the other person to an Inferiority complex or Guilt complex.
     • S/he will destroy your self-respect and self-esteem.

What's the story behind the name?

• In Greek, there was a river God named Siphisis and one Nymph (angel) called Liriope. Both had a son called Narcissus.
• Narcissus was astoundingly handsome but rudest and most selfish.
• At that time, there was another Nymph called Echo. She was the sweetest speaker of all.
• However, after a prank with Juno (Jupiter's wife), she is cursed by Juno.
  • She will not be able to speak directly from her.
  • You can only repeat the last few words if somebody else spoke something.
• Both Narcissus and Echo met in the jungle, but it turned out pretty bad as Narcissus was like that.
• Echo ran out crying from there. Echo's friends went to Nemesis (Goddes of revengee)
• Narcissus felt thirsty in a hunt and saw his face in a pond. He could not realize it was his reflection. He was deeply fallen for his reflection.
• Reflection did not answer anything, and finally, he committed suicide. The last word, Farewell, he told, which Echo repeated from a distance.
• Echo also died after a few years, but her words are still there behind hills and stones.

Echoism

• The tendency to not have your thoughts and always keep low under a Narcissist.
• These people keep on making compromises on toxic relationships.

Attributes

Types/Stages of Narcissism

1. Healthy:
   • It can be healthy to a specific level.
   • To tell a child that you are the best.
   • Social Good
   • Controlled way of self-esteem. To tell oneself and not boast in front of others about how great you are and that there is no one like yourself.
2. NPD
   • After a certain level, it becomes a disorder which is called Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
   • Inflated self-importance.
   • In reality, narcissists have less self-confidence. However, they boast that to others.
   • Almost nill empathy.
   • Sadism -> To give pain to others and feel happy.
   • The Narcissist can not hear criticism of his behavior.
   • S/he makes gas lighting to others.

Kinds of Narcissism

There are many kinds of Narcissism:

• Somatic Narcissism
  • Self-body/beauty-obsessed
• Cerebral/Intellectual Narcissism
  • Hegel -> Carl Marx -> Lenin
• Spiritual Narcissism
  • For example, A baba did not answer a question and blamed the questionnaire for asking the question.

Narcissistic Epidemic

• How many times is a person saying "I" and not "We" in praise cases (not in criticism cases)?
• Individual Worship Culture (not his/her policy/thoughts)
  • Donald Trump
  • Vladimir Putin
  • Narendra Modi -> Modi ki guarantee

Why do people become Narcissists?

1. Upbringing
   • If parents do
     • More praising or -> Did you hit more than the other person?
     • More suppression -> Why 99.9%? Where is the rest 0.1%?
   • S/he can get affected with NPD.
   • Teach children how to handle failure.
   • An NPD person can not handle rejection/failure.
2. Undue Success
   • The viral social media post will not happen again.
   • These persons can not handle the success and can become affected by NPD.
3. Hormones

Precautions

1. Handle Rejection
2. Handle Failure
3. Be Kind to others
4. Democratic Behaviour
   1. To respect other's opinions too

Confidence

• Knowing that I exist comes to humans slowly over time. A few months old baby, does not have this realization.
• Charles Hurten Cooley, an American psychologist (1860-1930) said:

• What I think others think about me is what I am. Mujhe kya lagta hai ki aap mere waare mein kya sochte hain?
• George Herbert Mead said, "The significant others of oneself create the concept of Self in them."

There are three kinds of self-confidence:

1. Under confidence
2. Reasonable confidence and
3. Overconfidence
   If a person's capability does not match their confidence, their self concept is distorted.

Source

• https://youtu.be/7oPLVNiRK68

Also Read

• How to make the right decisions
• What is Philosophy